There are times when we get angry. While anger is not so much the problem its what we do when we get angry. Men are told that women are the weaker vessel. This is clearly false. The actual scripture say giving them honor as of the weaker vessel(1st Peter 3:7). This simple slip of the ignorant has placed women in a peculiar situation as to be treated like you are weak (one to be protected), is much different than being treated like a subordinate. The differences between men and woman have been the subject of way too many arguments. However, the idea here is that the man being logical and the woman being emotional in orientation has been exploited to create a schism between the genders and this schism sets the stage for many divorces. The subject here is the perception of importance. Many people in relationships get angry about one thing or another and at a point without discussion can set the stage for infidelity, violence and even divorce.
I start here by saying that standards for character are universal; standards for gender are relative. What I mean by the above statement is that how we act as people is a universal standard. We follow the golden rule in doing to others what we would have done to ourselves. The second part of the statement is where the rubber meets the road. The differing mindsets become the lens by which we evaluate any thing that comes before us. For example: a sunny day to a logical person is the sun giving light; to an emotional person its a beautiful, sun-shinny day to be filled with enjoyment and pleasure. While this may be an over-simplification the idea is the same the two mindsets see these two and without agreement any situation scenario differently. When things require one mindset or another, having one way or the other can hinder reaching a standard if the standard requires one or another. Logic is not creative therefore asking a logical person to be creative is not a reasonable request; conversely when the situation requires logical thinking, an emotional mindset would naturally find it difficult. so asking a person who is emotional to think logically is equally not a reasonable request.
There are times when our partner will do something that is offensive to us. They may see it a simple thing but we sit in our selves and fume over the idea that this person has done this thing. Anger makes you storm away from the area, pout and purposefully withhold your feelings. Often times a slammed door is a revealer of our true feelings coupled with a bristling against a hug or display of affection. To this person the diplomatic lens must get cleaned so that we can understand where the person is coming from. the fact of the matter is that when a person gets angry there is more at the root of it. I heard a story one time about a man who while he was at the dinner table, wanted a drink and there was no ice and no ice trays because the freezer was full. He was tired and said, ” I like ice”, his wife started to explain what there was no ice, followed by her getting up from the table and started gruffly putting away the food. Later, he realized that she felt like he was dropping a hint that she was not doing her job int he kitchen which the agreed was her area. He also wondered why it was important, I told him that she wants to be perfect for him and the idea that there was something she should not do at that moment caused her a problem cause the idea that she was inadequate made her angry. He told her she was mad for nothing as the ice was not a big deal. I told him that, “it was for her.”
To conclude, understanding is tantamount in any relationship. People get angry. when you know what they are angry about, you can put yourself in a better position to deal with them which will give you the right attitude in helping to fix what it was, if it can be fixed